Parenting: Holding Hands Loosely
When I lived in Charlottesville, VA and worked at Trinity Presbyterian Church, I once remember a wiser pastor saying to me, “You have to remember when you are parenting that we raise our children to leave us, not to stay.” At this point, my oldest child was about 4 so the idea that one day I would have to let her go seemed so distant and far away that I readily embraced his advice. But as my daughter approaches Jr. High, my middle child now 10, and my youngest is about to finish his first year of elementary school, I am realizing that time in fact is finite and one day I will need to let my kids go.
This morning, as with every weekday, I walked Avery, William, and Walker to school and I was reminded of this. We always start out together as we leave the Wright house. We walk down Greatwood Trails and pass the Jr./Sr. high kids waiting for the bus. We approach the corner of Greatwood Pkwy. where my neighbors and Mr. Mark are always waiting.
Mr. Mark eventually raised his hand held stop sign and we all crossed the parkway together. Walker and I were holding hands, something I am treasuring more and more nowadays, and then it happened. Avery showed me some of her artwork, kissed me on the cheek, and said, “Have a great day dad. I love you. Bye!” Then, before I could even get on the sidewalk, William looked at me and said, “Love you dad. I am going to wait here for Maverick (one of his friends).” My first response was, “No Will, come with me” and I realized I was only partially concerned for his being late to school. Really, I wanted him to want to walk with me and not his friend. So, after a moment, I said, “Ok Will. I love you son. Have a great day.”
It was at this point I remembered again that Walker and I were holding hands and I gripped his precious hand a bit tighter. One day, he too will bid me farewell like Avery did. One day, he will wait for his friend instead of walking with his dad and that is ok. I am raising them to leave and I am so thankful for the time God has given me with these three precious children.
Deuteronomy 6 has been for me a sort of defining passage of Scripture when I think about raising my children. We read there, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you lie down, and when you rise.” When I think about what it means to love my kids well, to serve them as a loving and Christlike parent, I am reminded that teaching them, parenting them, and caring for them includes holding their hands loosely.
